Monday, August 24, 2009

Ahhhh...To Finally Breath...


These last few weeks at work have literally just about put me over the edge. The good news is I finished the first budget draft on Friday night and was able to just breath this past weekend. I don't know how some moms do it--you know, those ones who always look like they are rested with a clean house and all is right in the world? Even if I work a 13 hour day, it's never really just a 13 hour day. It means I get up at 4:00am before my kids or the sun come up and I get home at 8:00pm when the kids are heading to bed. It's the worst.

I feel like I've just lost two weeks in their lives. The greatest blow came on Saturday when I asked my daughter to do something and she said she already did. When I said I didn't see it get done, she yelled (literally) "You didn't know because you left and went to work." Ugh...she was right. I didn't know anything about anything by the end of last week. Even my son had been snappy with me....what's with all the freaking yelling at me?!? Do I not get it served up at work enough that I now need my 4 and 6 year old to get in on the action? I mean, do they really think that now that they've yelled at me I WANT to help them out?--WRONG. Yeah, I had to go to work and let me tell you, no one is more pissed off about this than me. I hate it, but this is what we have.

Last year a few of us neighborhood moms got together and we bid on a silent PTA auction to do a mommy and daughter tea party. It was supposed to be a nice way of taking time out to spend with our kids before the school year started. It was supposed to be something fun and special, something nice we were doing for our kids.

After Saturday's yelling rant, I didn't feel much like doing anything special with anyone, except for the sweet baby who just smiled at all the noise. Don't think I didn't threaten taking the tea party away with all the lip I got. Everyone had something on the line if attitudes didn't change. If we didn't go to the tea my son missed out on his "Big Brother" day with the baby, which we had been building up for weeks. Just him and his baby sister (and the husband of course). He's always her big brother, but just making it a special day seemed to change everything for him.

Thankfully, Sunday was redemption day for everyone. I got to be a better mom by having some time to appropriately discipline my kids with a solid talking-to and they had a chance to see yelling is not going to work at our house if they ever want to see fun again. After everyone apologized for the previous day's events, we kissed the baby and boys of the house and my daughter and I set off in our "Fancy Nancy" clothes around the corner to the home of the gracious mom who volunteered to host the tea party.

The girls had a great time and we mom's had a chance to talk about the new school year. My independent and spicy little girl sometimes has these great moments where she is just the sweetest, best kid I've ever known and it makes me love her all over again. She had a chance to enjoy practicing her manners and eating pretty foods with little white gloves on. In my heart of hearts I know these sweet times are slowly being catalogued as a survival mechanism for those sassy adolescent years that I know are coming.

Tomorrow is the first day of first grade and of course I took a vacation day. Gone are the separate kindergarten playgrounds and schedules... My brain has not been able to focus all day. All I can think about is getting out of here in preparation for tomorrow. I'm so excited for her to start this new year as a big kid who has an all day schedule. I'm scared too. Kindergarten was fun, but she definitely brought home some new things like teasing, back-talk and mean words which we had to put our foot down on and are still battling. She has developed some autonomy which is both fun and scary to watch.

The oldest child is something of a mystery sometimes for me. I remember being 6, but I don't remember thinking like I'm 6. My little pioneer will blaze the way for the other two who will follow her to school way to soon. Right now, just for today, I'm going to pretend they will never grow up and that they will always love their mother :-)

Have a great week!!


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