Monday, October 5, 2009

"The Soupy Boob Show"

This morning I spent a few extra minutes examining the new fine lines around my eyes and the droopiness of my skin on my legs. I don't even waste time on my boobs anymore because they are a disaster: soupy and droopy. Man I took my body in my twenties for granted! Sure, it wasn't perfect, but there are things you just didn't think about then - like back-fat. No one tells you about the little extra pudge that sits at your bra line. It's a tragedy...but, weirdly enough, today, it didn't completely devastate me. Maybe it's the two pounds I lost last week starving (according to my typical standards) and slaving on the treadmill. All I know is I NEEDED those two pounds.

These days I now save my "devastated" emotions for things that really count - like walking around the office today and realizing several hours after I've arrived that my already challenged boobs are hanging at my knees. "Why?" do you ask? Because I forgot to fasten up the nursing bra - on both sides - after I quickly fed the baby this morning. I had been racing around, literally, unlatched. If people didn't notice, they were blind. Yeah, that's devastating. After three kids, all of whom have been nursed, a certain droopage is expected. Pair that with the extra weight gain and well, we have a freak show: "Come one, come all to the Soupy Boob Show!"


Ugh....humiliating.


2 comments:

  1. This is HI-larious!!! OMG... So something I would do. Thank you for tape rolling all the cat hair off of me in the middle of the financial dist. That was almost comparable... :)

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  2. I mean seriously, what are friends for, right?

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