Monday, November 2, 2009

The Good, The Bad & The Skinny

I took a few much needed days off last week to work in my kids' classrooms and just hang out with them. We're always so busy with our day to day lives that it's not often we get to just stop and hang out. On Friday, I finished sewing a rag quilt for the baby that I started a year ago and the kids got to visit with their great grandma and their great aunt whom they don't get to see nearly enough. I won't lie and say that the pace was slow, but I definitely felt closer to what I miss about my old life.

This Halloween was our best yet. This was a pleasant surprise considering we had major melt down before actually getting out the door. The weather has been cooler, so a sleeveless Wonder Woman costume just wasn't going to cut it. We insisted on a shirt under the costume which resulted in crying and screaming and all other drama you could imagine. Our little "Woody" was sure the pj's he had on under his costume were too small and he didn't want packing tape to tape on his boots, he wanted scotch tape....seriously, I'm not making this up. I think the baby started to cry at one point out of empathy for all of us.

Once we finally got out the door, the drama "miraculously" stopped (thank God!). This was the baby's first Halloween. Like each kid before her, she donned a little chicken suit. Her little waddle butt was so cute! I had forgotten how sweet it is to watch a new walker try to keep up with the big kids. It doesn't seem that long ago that I was just waddling around the neighborhood hoping to not go into labor.

The big kids were finally old enough to go up to doors and walk (run!) on their own. There was no shortage of parents yelling "NO RUNNING." It was an unsuccessful plight, but we tried. We parents spiced it up this year by dressing up to walk the kids. Now, some people might frown at the cooler that followed us through the neighborhood on a wagon, but I challenge someone to throw that gauntlet down. We were safe, we didn't get crazy and I neeeeeeded that cocktail. The kids loved that we dressed up and I have to admit, it was A LOT of fun.

It's no secret that I've been struggling with my daughter making comments about my weight. To refresh, "Mommy, why are you so much bigger than the other mommies?" or my favorite, "Mommy, when I grow up I hope I never look like you because you're fat." My heart hurts just thinking about that again.

It all started after I had this last baby and she began school. It's funny how they notice so much about people and consciously and subconsciously have already begun to measure their lives against those of their peers (or their moms versus their peers' moms). And, who doesn't want their own kids to look up to them as role models?? We make a very conscious effort at our house to focus on healthy and happy not skinny or fat.

Over the last few months, I've been trying really hard to get "healthy." Last weekend, I ran my best race yet since I've this baby. It was only a 5k, but my goal was to not stop running and a friend and I did it. It wasn't pretty, but we freakin' did it! I think it was really good for my kids to see me take time out to take care of me. I still screw up occasionally, but overall I'm hanging in there.

Here's one of the best parts of my weekend...My daughter was standing next to me in line during our weekly Target run and gave my thigh a good swat. "Oh! Wow mommy, you've lost a little weight!" (her smile was pure pride) "You're skinny just like K (my friend)!" Then she started grabbing my waist band on my jeans and pulling up my shirt--you get the picture. I wanted to scream with joy from the mountain tops "MY daughter thinks I'm skinny!!!!" But, I didn't. I just said "Well, I'm trying to be healthy and that's what's important." If I'm not going to focus on the fat, then I can't focus on the skinny either. I want her to think about being healthy and capable. Nothing else.

I of course texted my friend and shared the joyous news that a 6 year old thought we were skinny. Who knew that this little opinion could change my entire day. I feel motivated and for the first time in a long time I feel normal. Now, I know I still have a few pant sizes to contend with, but progress is progress.

1 comment:

  1. This story still makes me smile! Emma has no idea how powerful her words can be. :) She has given me new motivation as well. We are in this together!