Thursday, November 5, 2009

Happy Birthday Baby!

Today is my baby's first birthday. Out of all my kids, I feel like I've missed the most with this one. My Addison is the sweetest, most pleasant baby I've EVER had. She rarely cries and she loves everyone. I was so thankful that she woke up in time this morning for me to tell her happy birthday and give her a big hug and a kiss. I love her so much that I could literally start crying right now because I'm not with her on her big day.

At this very moment she is with the Nanny at her 12 month well-baby doctor's appointment. She is receiving all sorts of accolades from the doctor on her first year accomplishments that only her mother could be so proud of. She is getting a shot and someone other than me is consoling her; telling her it will be okay and that they love her.

I HATE missing these appointments. I sat in my car this morning in traffic trying to console myself about how this is not a big deal, but ya know, it really is. I love checking in with the doctor on where my baby is at at this monumental milestone. I cursed myself for taking two days off last week which did not allow me to take today off. Sure, I tried to reschedule but the appointment would have been pushed out to when she is 13 months old - and babies change in that one month.

I know it is pathetic to play the "It's Not Fair" game, but I can't help it. I'm pulling that card today. I hate that I'm missing so much and there is NOTHING I can do about it. I hate this economy. I hate that I'm not with my kids today....


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