Tuesday, March 2, 2010

The Detail

I've said this before and I'll say it again, the hardest thing about going back to work is missing random moments with my kids. It might be nothing more than a funny cringe of their nose or a weird new laugh they try out just once, but it's these sweet moments that will forever mark your memory. It's these things kinds of memories that I have a painful shortage of. Kids rarely think about what they are saying or doing and they don't know how to tell you anything but the truth. I love the candid little lives they lead...

When I put my kids to bed at night I sometimes "grant" them one wish. I like sharing in what their last hope or thought of the day is. My daughter always wishes for or to be a mermaid and my son will wish for one of two things: 1) a robot or 2) for me to never go to work again and spend every day with him. My fingers are always crossed for the latter.

I can't believe my oldest child turns 7 in just a few months! Ever since she was born I've wanted to just be her mom. She's spunky and dramatic, loving and kind hearted. Now that she is in real school, I've watched just how affected she has been by her daily environment of other big kids. She's hardly a baby anymore and is quick to show us just how grown up she (thinks) she is.

A few mornings a week she wakes up at about 5:00am and quietly comes into our room and softly nudges me to scoot. I do and there is always a big sigh of relief she lets out as she finds her nook within my arms, just like she did when she was a baby. This only lasts for a few minutes as I slip out of bed to begin getting ready for work. I have to admit, as much as I don't want to be nudged this early, I wouldn't trade it for anything. Sooner than later, the early morning visits will stop all on their own.

My little boy is the sweetest and most fiery little man I could ever have hoped for. He will be turning 5 in just a few months and like his sister, I can't believe how fast the time as gone by. I didn't know I could love a little boy until I had him. After he was born, I was lucky enough to leave a job I absolutely hated. For the first time in my whole life I felt like I was exactly where I was supposed to be. He had severe food allergies as a baby and I constantly worried about him. Even as the allergies have begun to dissipate, the worry has stayed constant. Both kids love me, but he loves me more deeply; more thoughtfully. He takes pride in knowing when I need an extra little hug that day and he always makes it a good one.

My baby, now 15 months old, has grown way too fast - faster it seems than the others before her. Born tinier than the other babies, she is our "Itty-Bitty." She is loud and happy and nothing will stop her from trying to keep up with her big sister and brother. She is full of love and quick to try and comfort others if they are upset by softly rubbing their heads. When she gets upset she crinkles her eyes and nose, pops out her bottom lip, then waits a moment before letting out a gut-wrenching cry. It's the most perfect pout I've ever seen. I really wanted this baby. My husband was content with the two kids, but I always knew we were one short so I went to battle for her. The funny thing about this is that the first person she wants most is not me, but her daddy. She is undoubtedly a "Daddy's Girl." I guess he deserves that...

I was definitely always tired as a stay-at-home mom and it was one of the hardest jobs I've ever had, but what I wouldn't do to have that time in my life back. I felt like I was really a part of my kids' lives and they mine. Now, everyday feels rushed and hurried. Why am I detailing who my kids are right now? Because I'm scared that in the crazy mix of life I'm going to forget the details of them that life is supposed to be made up of. Today's post is how I remember them right now and I love who they are.

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