Tuesday, August 10, 2010

Because the Clock Doesn't Stop

If anyone hasn't noticed, my postings recently have become almost come to a halt. Not because life and clocks haven't kept moving, but because there's been so much stuff going on I just haven't had the time or brain to know where to begin. I'm right in the middle of my busiest time at work with trying to nail down preliminary budgets for 2011. This hasn't left a lot of time for me to squeeze in much more.

School starts in two weeks and I'm not sure where the summer has gone...

My big girl turned 7, my little man turned 5 and my baby (who is barely a baby anymore) just turned 21 months and got her own toddler bed--that is still in the box. I'm not quite ready to let the crib go, but I know that's next on the list of things to purge. It's been really hard for me to wrap my head around the fact that my child bearing days are over. I love my kids and would have a dozen more if all the "if's" (if I had more money, if I had a bigger house, if I didn't work, if my husband would actually agree) didn't get in the way.

Last month, our family went on it's very first camping trip to Pine Mountain Lake. We went with another family we really like and who are camping veterans. I told myself before going that I was just going to let things go and allow my kids to have fun and take one day at a time. I'm pretty sure I did not do a good job of this. I felt like I was constantly reprimanding and yelling at my kids. It's not clear to me if I just couldn't let go of order or if my kids were just losing their heads. But, when you have a group of kids and one gets crazy there is the possibility of the crazy infiltrating all the kids and before you know it you have a circus on your hands. I'm alright with my own kids ruining each other, but the thought of them causing someone else's kids go down the crazy path just kills me. I've been on the other side where I watch lightbulbs go off over my kids' heads when they watch other kids get away with all sorts of bad

All things considered, I think my kids really did have a good time and I'm glad we went. It was a lot of work for two nights out in the middle of nowhere on a weak campground, but at the end of it all my friend still talked to me after the trip - which I am thankful for.

My husband and I celebrated our 10 year anniversary last weekend with a surprise dinner at my favorite restaurant, La Fondue , followed by the movie, The Other Guys, and a night in the fabulous Hotel Valencia. For most people - especially those still sewing their single oats this sounds pretty boring, but for us it was just right. When we got out of the movie at midnight, the town and bars was just starting to heat up. I looked at him and he looked at me and we both knew we just didn't have in us to do the the bar crawl everyone on the street was lined up for. Quiet is not something either of us know much about anymore. It was nice to just watch free T.V. as long as I wanted in a bed occupied by just us and knowing that come morning no one had to make the bed.

Trust me when I say we really needed a night for just us to go out. For the last few weeks we had just been on each other's last nerves. We had heated arguments about stupid things, yelling matches about who was right and it got to a point that I'm not sure we even liked each other for a stretch of time. In the mix of kids and life, it's easy to forget what you actually like about each other. This night gave us the opportunity to actually remember what it's like to be a husband and a wife and not just a dad and a mom to someone.

I'm going to try and be better about posting. I've forgotten a lot in the last 10 years and I want to remember everything in the next 10 years. In 10 more years I'm going to have a Senior and a Freshman in high school and baby will be in middle school. I almost cry just thinking about how fast it will come... For now, I'll try and focus on today.

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