Monday, September 27, 2010

3 Years and Counting...

Last week (9/23) marked my 3 year anniversary of being back in the workforce and yesterday was my 34th birthday.  I kept starting and stopping a post to describe how the 3 year mark felt, but I couldn't really put my finger on it.  To be honest, I had been looking forward to it coming, but with a much different result (shocker!).  I thought I'd be loooooong gone by now and to not be able to an end in site was, well, disappointing.
It didn't bother me through the actual day, but it did that night.  The big question that kept my eyes open and my head spinning is "What do I do now?" and "How do I fix this?"  The easy answer is that there is no fix.  I just need to keep getting up and doing it over and over and over again with the hope that it eventually stops before my kids are grown.  It's never about the actual work I have to put in at my job; it's always about the part of my life I SO want to be a constant participate in. 

My birthday was a different story.  It was far from disappointing.  It was fantastic - but not for the reasons you might think.  It was a day of no obligation and no rushing.  It started with a tap on my arm in the dark at 3:45am.  "What's wrong, honey?" "Nothing.  Happy Birthday, Mommy."  "Thank you." "I'm cold, can you scoot over?" "Sure."  My Big Kid proceeded to snuggle into me and told me she loved me.  It doesn't get better than that...

At 7:00am I heard a loud "thud" that sounded like a kid falling out of bed.  My eyes shot open and my Big Kid was back.  "Is everyone okay?" "Yeah, I just wanted to get your attention, Happy Birthday again Mommy." "Thanks, honey." "You're breakfast in bed is ready."  I opened my eyes, now less foggy, and saw a plate with a water (the one she dropped to get my attention) and four Oreo cookies.  "You're the best daughter ever" I tell her.  "Thanks, mom."  Her priceless smile makes her face beam with pride at making such an impression this morning.  "Now don't come down until we call you." "Okay" I say.

Two Oreo cookies later and a gulp of water, I'm still sitting at the top of the stairs.  Finally I get to go down and open my presents.  I got a small box of drawn pictures and love notes from my Big Kid, running shoes and a sweatshirt from my sweet husband and my son gave me his heart since he said he wasn't a part of the gift decision.  Baby just went on hugging and kissing everyone like she normally does.  It was quite possibly the best morning of my life (besides that first night a baby sleeps through the night). The rest of the day was easy and fun.

 I dread Mondays.  I loathe that this one day ends my weekend.  Today was no different, but in light of the fun birthday, I was reminded of just how lucky I am to have my family.  I'm here at a desk, but my heart is with them all day :-) 

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