Optimistic Pessimist



I had my annual Employee Review on Friday and it went well - really well. As much as I don't want to be here, being viewed as someone who is competent and does a good job is still important to me. Doing well was really important - not just for me, but for my team. The hurting economy caused our company to hold salaries and reduce bonuses the past few years. Based on my "score-card" I should know by the end of the month whether I will get a much needed raise and bonus. Every extra dollar I make puts me one step closer to being where I want to be.

I am a planner by nature and a pessimist against my own will. I want so badly to be that positive and optimistic friend we all have (or should have) where everything works out peachy in the end. But, I am not built that way. I read articles and reports all the time from parenting tips (home) to the comparisons of sectional boilers (work). I cover the pros and cons of each, then bank them as a resource. I may never tap into these "resources," but I'll be ready if I need to. I have come to accept this oddity about myself. I've also come to understand that the more prepared I feel for the unexpected disaster, the safer I feel in my everyday life.

My plan of getting out of here in the next year is still in effect. By the end of this year, I should be closer than I ever have been - pending any horrific changes to my financial forecast which is always a possibility. I've paid down our debt, secured our mortgage, worked my ass off to be considered for a salary increase, and threw out to my boss I'd be willing to accept a new position in a different capacity if it meant I'd get closer to home. I'm trying...and that's all I can do. Here's to a slice of optimism today :-)