I recently saw a picture of myself and it was not the person I remember myself looking like. I looked tired and heavier and older. I looked at my chubby self and I wondered who that was staring back at me. I know that I am older, this came as no surprise. It's the way I'm getting older that I found to be the real shocker. I guess that I've just gotten so caught up in every day life, I didn't realize that aging has not occurred as graceful as I always pictured it - in more ways than just how I look.
When I was in my twenties I was sure that life in my thirties would be so different. I worked long and hard hours to achieve a solid future where I could finally breath... I thought my path would be paved and as long as I just stayed between the dotted lines things would drive smoothly. I know this sounds naive, but I never really accounted for changing lanes or desiring to "off-ramp." Doesn't everyone say that 30 is the new 20?!? Was this just to make themselves feel better in their 30's? I still feel as much pressure as I did in my 20's, it's just in a different way now that my little people depend on me to make the right choices. I put a lot more thought into the consequences of my choices, which I think is normal, but is it always better?
I feel like I'm at a crossroads on where we go next. Do we choose the safe route or the one that allows us to keep our dreams alive? Responsible or crazy and exciting? As a current responsible "grown-up" I think the answer is to be responsible, but then I start thinking by making the easy choice we are actually doing a disservice to ourselves and our kids by not encouraging dream chasing. But, what if we fail?
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