Friday, April 6, 2012

Cracked

What a busy few weeks.  Between work, home and kids I was close to just losing it.  Now you're probably wondering why this week is any different than any other week.  The short answer is that I don't know...

I'm not sure why things feel so overwhelming, or at least more so than usual.  My friend suggested that maybe it is hormonal.  Luckily she's my friend and I didn't have to kill her for even thinking this could be related to my period.  For the record, I can hear this suggestion from another woman who experience the roller coaster ride of Aunt Flow.  I cannot hear "Are you on your period?" from a man.  I might LITERALLY kill someone.  I wondered if it's the onset of baseball/softball season, which means I lose my husband and two of the three kids to their own schedules. Maybe, but sports are never ending at our hose.  My drop dead date to quit my job is quickly approaching with no real resolve? Possibly, but this has gone on for years.  My ever ticking mortality clock.  Likely an issue, but I'm not freaking out about the new wrinkle I'm sure is creasing as we speak. 

One thing I've particularly been getting crazy about my house staying in order.  I'm beginning to clearly see my day starts and stops with cleaning and I'm pissed off about it.  I literally go to clean some nights till I go to bed, then wake up in the morning to tidy the house more before I leave.  Most mornings I leave the house in neat order only to come home to school papers, homework, jackets, shoes, backpack, toys and laundry strewn everywhere.  Maybe I wouldn't mind it as much if I weren't just EXPECTED to clean up after everyone, but it feels like I am.  I want to start screaming - and I do so in my head, "CLEAN UP YOUR SHIIIIIIIIIIIT!"  I made my Little Man clean his room and he literally thought he was sick from cleaning (he went and got a thermometer to support this only to disprove himself).  My Big Girl lost TV until her room was clean - which lasted two days.  I mean who do they think cleans the toilets and showers and floors???  My guess is the only answer they care about is "Not them." 

I even did a totally depressing book, "The Road" by Cormack McCarthy to jolt myself into gratefulness for my full life.  That lasted about two minutes.  Screw Yahoo! News and their story "Buy a House for the Price of a Car" article which just flare up my "Grass is Greener" tendencies.  I think a big part of my crazy is that I'm just tired - literally.  I haven't been able to sleep lately and it's not because I'm full of energy.  I just lay in bed watching the ceiling clock turn numbers into the night...

I have derby in a few hours and no games this weekend for the holiday.  Maybe this will do the trick...fingers are crossed.

Have a Happy Easter everyone!


2 comments:

  1. i think i've got a solution for your inability to sleep....SEX! every time i suggest it...sharon get's super tired. give it a shot. :-)

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  2. J Soss - you always make me laugh! Thanks for the pointer!!

    ReplyDelete