Monday, July 23, 2012

Fast as a Snail

I went on the interview and it was fine.  It was my second one and I think I was past the jitters.  There were supposed to let me know last week where I stood, but they pushed it to the end of this week.  Clearly there is no urgency on their part.  Here's the problem...

I would LOVE this job, but now that I've had a FEW WEEKS to sit on it and contemplate the salary cut, I'm not sure I can justify sending our family into financial ruin just because I'm a wienie and hate my job.  I've got other meetings for other positions set up in the meantime, but there is nothing out there I'm super excited about.  I can see the toll this purgatory I subject myself to has had on me.  I look tired.  I've gained weight.  I take a handful of pills before I go to bed. I'm stuck...

To top it all off, last week's humiliation pie, served right up, by ME was enough to drive a girl to drink.  I am always the only female in meetings and was invited to tour and go to lunch.  Whatever, no problem.  Now, I've been running around in this town with heels on for sometime now - even pregnant, so I'm pretty comfortable on my toes.  For whatever reason, my balance was off and I must have tripped three times before completely eating it during my client's visit.  Yep.  I rolled my ankle and fell right there on the sidewalk, flanked by my client, my boss and two other gents.  I would've probably recovered in a cat-like manner if my boss hadn't YELLED "Oh my GOD!" which caused the other three people - and everyone else on the street to stop and see me on all 4's - OH and I was wearing a skirt.  For the record, Spanx do more than just suck in all your bits and pieces.  They protect you from flashing your panties if you eat shit in a skirt.  HUMILIATING.

I've now been limping for 3 days and although it's getting better, it serves as a reminder that I am lame.  I think the "Pity" gods were on my side this morning because as I was driving to work, I saw a woman with coffee, pastry and lap top bag totally fall, then literally roll on the sidewalk.  Only one woman stopped to ask if she needed help.  One guy in a suit glanced over, before nearly breaking into a run - literally.  JERK.  I think that was supposed to make me feel like I'm not alone, but all it did is make me feel bad for the poor lady.

This can't be as good as life gets:  one ankle roll from flashing my panties.  Something has to change and God knows I'm trying...Can't someone just tell me what to do; tell me what the right answer is?  I want someone else to think about all of this, but I know it has to be me who saves me. 

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