Tuesday, July 31, 2012

Happy Birthday

Today is the day I had set as my line in the sand for my job.  Last night I got the email that said I did not get the high school teaching position I had applied for.  I think because it took them so freaking long to tell me, I had already worked out all my anxiety.  Oddly enough, I'm actually okay with not getting the job, but I just hate that I'm still in this job.

The upside to today is that it's my little boy's 7th Birthday.  I remember going into labor with him like it was yesterday.  It was the middle of the night and I woke up thinking I had wet myself in the night and it was hot.  I remember scooping up my Big Girl and thinking how can I have another baby when my baby is still a baby...

It's funny how so much and so little have changed over the course of the last 7 years.  Just as my son was born, I was quitting this profession for the first - and I thought final time.  I was both thrilled and overwhelmed by the thought of having two kids and being a stay-at-home mom.  Fast forward seven years and I'm back where I started, loathing the same job just as much, just more successful at it this time around.

I'm so proud of my little boy.  He is so kind and thoughtful, patient and focused.  He's a very reserved boy, so when you get a hug from him you know he really means it.  To think I only wanted little girls...if seven years has taught me anything it's that I was wrong about little boys.  His hugs, his "I love you's," his toothless smiles and his contagious giggles are worth staying at a job I hate if it means taking care of him and the girls.  As long as he grows up to be a good man, I will have accomplished my most important job of all as his mommy.

Happy Birthday, Little Man!  I love you to the moon and back.


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