Tuesday, April 2, 2013

The Change - Up

Ok.  I did it.  I went and got myself a new job.  My last day here is this Thursday.  I. AM. FREAKING. OUT.

I think I knew it had to happen once I let myself buy on to accepting the hand that was dealt to me.  I told my current company the typical reason of, "It's me, not you"  - the line you give when it's always NOT you.  My boss has been great and genuinely happy for me, I think.  He knew I couldn't get what I wanted here, so it came as no surprise when I made the decision to move on.

The freak out part:  It's been 5 1/2 years of the same and now I'm moving to a portfolio three times the size of my existing AND, wait for it.... I have a new title!  I know a title shouldn't get me all giddy like a school girl, but adding Vice President to my resume seems like a really good thing!  I'm scared of the change, but  I need to practice what I preach and walk the walk.

The icing on the cake is that it's Spring Break and my kids are happy, albeit LOUD.  Without jinxing it, I feel like we may have turned a corner with my Big Girl.  I feel like she's been genuinely trying to check her attitude or sassy comments lately and it has made my life easier.  She is excelling at sports and embodies all the busybody traits of what a 9, almost 10, year old should.  I love that she's a real kid still and not pressured by social influences...yet. She wears what she likes, regardless of its coolness, thinks regardless of the affect and still holds my hand and hugs me in public.  I'll never get tired of that...

My Little Man, who is barely "little" anymore, is the one jumping onto the sassy train.  He's always been such an easy tempered, peace keeping, kid so this new streak of antagonizing his sisters and talking back is a bit surprising.  I think he'll come around quicker than the girls in this department...fingers crossed.  He's a quiet one, so I'm not always sure how he feels about things.  But, I know he pays attention and files different things in his head because snippets of how something may have affected him come out in small talk conversations - sometimes six months later.  He's not gonna be a loud fighter like my girls, he's going to need those extra hugs from mom when no one else is looking.

My Baby Girl learned how to ride a bike with no training wheels a few weeks ago and she is UNSTOPPABLE.  She is the perfect blend of both of the other kids, but is still so special in her own right.  She's feisty and is learning early on that if she screams loud enough her siblings will fold and give her what she wants just to shut her up.  But then she'll hug both of them and tell them she loves them and will want to be their buddy again.  I didn't cry when the two older kids went to school, but this one might break me.  If I could keep her sweet cupcake self my little itty-bitty girl forever, I think I'd do it.  She loves so big...I hope this never changes.

I think me taking this job is going to be tough at first, but within the next 5 years it'll be the best move I made.  It allows my husband to breath a little more and also allows him to figure out his next steps without the financial pressure to work all the time.  The job will allow me to work from home on occasion without feeling guilty...working in sweats is SO underrated!  I'm also supposed to have a great staff who can hold the reigns if I want to take a vacation for a whole week, something I haven't done in about 6 years.  Hard or not hard, this is still going to be MY year, OUR year as a family, even though I struggle to hold onto this some days. The Optimist's shoes are feeling pretty comfy right now :).

Bonus:  Baseball season opened yesterday....GO SF GIANTS!